New Jersey Wedding Planner
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My wedding is in 4 months. My fiancé and I booked our ceremony and reception site 5 months ago at a beautiful golf club - we will be having the ceremony outside and the reception inside. We had our planning meeting with the site planner yesterday. Now her attitude has changed- before when I would ask if we could do something it was “no problem” but yesterday when we spoke about those issues(where the ceremony would take place, where I would be walking out from etc) the answers were “our members here at the club come 1st- so I don’t know if that would get in their way..etc..” She acted like everything I wanted was a problem and we would be stepping on the toes of the members of the club and yesterday when I asked if they would provide a free champagne toast, she laughed and said ”nothings free”. The prices seem to be higher and I’m not getting what I thought.
We are spending thousands of dollars on this reception and now I feel like it will be a burden to have it here instead of a joy. Should I start looking for another place this close to the wedding? Or take my chances?
Thanks for your advice
Heather, Montvale, NJ
Sorry to hear you're in such a tough situation...
The best advice I can give you is to look closely at your contract. Unfortunately salespeople will often "yes" you to death just to sign the deal, but then are not as flexible afterwards. It's too late to tell you to be certain that the details that are important to you are written in the contract, but you need to go over what is there.
It's certainly not too late to look for another place (although it will be much more difficult at this point) but you will probably forfeit whatever deposit you have already made. Look at the contract and see when your next payment is due...if you don't mind losing your deposit, then you have until that date to find a new place (or until you need to get your invitations printed up)
If you decide to stick with the country club, the first thing to do is understand what is and isn't included and how they normally run things. It's quite common for the costs to be higher than the couple expects because you often forget to account for things like a service charge, taxes, or even menu upgrades. A champagne toast is most often included in wedding packages nowadays, but not always. If you want an exception, like the ceremony in a different location, ask about her concerns and try to outsmart her by figuring out how to work around them. And if she offers some other compromise to appease you, get it in writing!
If you can find someone to act as the "bad guy" (obviously wedding planners are good at this, but it may not be in your budget) during negotiations, that might help. Sometimes parents who are paying are listening to more than the brides.
Good luck! I'm sure whatever happens your day will be beautiful.
We have a somewhat
limited budget for our wedding, but I'd really like it to be something
special that our guests remember for a long time to come. I look
at all the gorgeous pictures in wedding magazines and wish we
could have that, but I don't know where to begin. Any advice on
what to focus on to make our big day different?
Aileen M., Montvale, NJ
The two main things to remember in creating a memorable wedding are:
1. Personalize to make it your own
2. Make sure every element works together
Most guests have been to a ton of weddings and what they are going to remember is what you
did different. So if the two of you love golf, have the reception at country club, arrive in a golf cart, and give
personalized golf balls as a favor. If you met each other at your jobs teaching elementary school than maybe go whimsical with coloring book
menus and a make-your-own sundae bar. Really let your personalities shine through...
And no matter what your budget is, you'll get the most for money by picking one theme, color, or motif and
going with it. A pretty program by itself is nice, but when it matches the invites and menus which
match the tablecloths and coordinate with the flowers, etc...the effect is WOW.
Good luck with all the details!
We're getting
married on the beach this summer and I can't decide what kind
of music to use for the ceremony. I'd like something classy but
not too stuffy. Even though the ceremony is on the beach, it is
somewhat formal so I think live music would be the best for this
type of occasion.
Donna S., Bridgewater, NJ
There really is nothing like live musicians for your ceremony. You have several options. The simplest is hiring a single musician. Harp
is quite lovely and very classy, but a classical guitarist or a keyboardist may also be sweet. If you want more elaborate, you can go with a full string
ensemble or even a calypso band. Remember that formal doesn't necessarily mean stuffy.
Also, since the ceremony is on the beach, you must discuss the logistics with whomever you hire. They may require a platform to keep
their instruments free of sand. Depending on the size of the wedding, amplification may be required (especially in competition with the sound
of the water). And for some instruments the humidity may be an issue.
Enjoy your beautiful day!
I am wearing a
very WHITE dress. I would like to wear pearls, necklace and earrings,
do they have to match WHITE or can they be off white?
Loreen M. , Coral Springs, FL
The short answer is pearls are timeless and can pretty much be worn
with anything.
Real pearls (and often good quality fakes) are never PURE white but
their classic look is chosen by many brides. You can find imitation
pearls that are pure white, but you may not feel they look as "rich" as
the real deal. You'll see plenty of white wedding gowns embellished
with pearl beads that are both off-white and pure white.
For a very together look you may consider wearing and carrying
accessories that all include pearls - necklace and earrings are a
start, but there is also your headpiece/veil, handbag, shoes, bracelet,
etc... If you are very concerned about everything coordinating,
remember that you can take your dream dress and have it customized in
any way you see fit, including adding pearls!
I'm sure you'll look beautiful! Good luck!
Submit Questions to our New Jersey Wedding Planner
Our professional wedding consultants from "Signature Engagements" will review and provide answers to
your wedding questions here. Please submit your questions to: weddingplanner@yourweddingyourway.com
NOTE: Not all questions will be posted to the website; personal responses will not be provided. When posting your
question, we will put your first name and the first letter of your last name. If you would prefer that we don't include your name, let us know and we will use "anonymous"
instead. Responses may take up to 2 weeks.
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